A rant about lemons and music

So sometimes Life hands you lemons and is all like "Here. I heard you were a fan of these things so I thought I'd give you an early Christmas present or whatever." And then strides away snickering like a little brat-hole and you're just left with a giant pile of yellow citrusy fruits. And then you're standing there all confused because you suddenly have a buttload of lemons in your arms, and what on earth are you supposed to do with them? You're like eleven and tiny and awkward.

But then you remember that you actually really like lemons a lot and you could probably do a ton of things with them. But you're scared because you've never done anything with lemons before and what if you completely mess it up or don't do it right or there are other people out there doing it seventy-five times better then you ever could? And then you get sad because your lemon-skills are weird and different and you get really self-conscious about it. So you decide to put them in a corner for a while because you're in denial over how much you actually want to try to make a delicious pastry with them. 

Believe it or not, I'm not actually talking about lemons. 

I know. Shocker. You just read that whole rant about them only to find out I was talking about something completely different. 

Sorry 'bout that. 

But anyways. I was actually talking about the time I was told I could sing. I was around 11-12. I had a random song in my head and was kind of humming along to it. Later, I was commanded to sing it aloud. So I did. And so begins the story.

At first, I hated it. I hated singing for people. I hated that suddenly people thought I was good at it and wanted to hear it. It was weird. (but it also may or may not have been because I tend to be very defiant at times when it comes to situations I myself didn't intentionally create.) But eventually I started taking guitar lessons, and then putting the two together. And it quickly became an escape for me. 

Songwriting was a fun way for me to fly around with my head and make magical things happen. And nobody could tell me what to do or how to do it. It was whatever I wanted and envisioned. I didn't care if I could or couldn't sing, or if I was or wasn't good at guitar, I made music I loved and enjoyed every second of it.

At one point, I was even able to perform some of my original songs at my church. And share the stories behind them. 

I was FREAKING. OUT. Because suddenly my little private world of personal problems and quirky wishes, was being listened to by a good handful of people. It felt like everyone was reading my mind. And it was scary.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10200821271278451&set=vb.1363691884&type=2&theater

 ^So that would be a link to a video of one of my songs if you're interested. 

It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. I loved it.

But recently I've hit this wall. I've just had so much trouble writing. I'm starting to second-guess everything and dislike the way it sounds. And it freaking SUCKS because songwriting is how I usually deal with issues I have or crazy emotional moments I'm having. It's like my diary. Except right now it's like my diary but I can't find a pen and suddenly my handwriting is illegible and stupid looking. 

So it's an annoying situation. And it's hard when I feel like I have so much stuff going on but I can't empty it out into something lovely and less heavy. But I thought I'd try turning it into a little mini story to share with you guys so I feel like other people are in on it. And just to let you know what's going on. But mostly because I wanted an outlet and I remembered that that's what these blogthings are kind of for, aren't they?

Moral of the story: Lemons are awesome. But can be extremely complicated and frustrating when they don't help you out with something that's complicated and frustrating.

I'm not even completely sure that makes any sense. But someone somewhere out there read it and took it to heart. 

~Magpie

Finished Product!

Hey guys! So. I'm a leetle bit late with the whole "Presenting my finished Halloween costume" thing. But now I'm just gonna call it "Presenting my finished Joker cosplay costume" to make myself feel a bit better about it.

But I did it! I got it all done! I had tons of help, of course, but it was all completed and all my idea. So I'm pretty proud. 

There's something weirdly satisfying about smearing white face makeup on your face, putting on a wig that smells like marker, and then donning the clothes you've worked so hard to modify. And then getting to strut around your friend's neighborhood singing Christmas carols at people while wearing it? Psh. Nothing can beat it. (And yes. We did actually sing Christmas songs at people. On Halloween. Wearing Batman villain costumes. But joke's on everybody else cuz WE got full sized candy bars for doing so.)

Also? It's really fun when something you envisioned, such as this:

Becomes more of a reality. Like this:

 And it's not TOTALLY the same. But I almost like how it turned out better than how I drew it. (Please excuse my face. It looks like I'm about to sneeze but I was just squinting at the sun.)

So there it is. That's what I would look like if I were the Joker. The mystery's been solved. You don't have to lie awake anymore, wondering constantly. I have the answer for you. And you're welcome.

This whole costume making experience felt way more hectic than I thought it would. But it was fun! And I'm glad I have friends that don't find it weird or obnoxious when that's all I talk about for weeks straight. (or maybe they did. In which case, I appreciate them not telling me.)

I learned how to dye clothes for the first time, that I should never be a hairstylist, that I really like shopping for costume parts, that I really DON'T like shopping for pants to cut and dye into shorts, and that I enjoy wearing the finished product WAY TOO MUCH.

I've always loved playing dress-up. And I guess I still do.

You know what else I love?
Posing for dramatic pictures with horrible makeup like this:

 It's way more fun than it sounds.

So...I guess that's it. The project's over. (I'll still keep up the blog as much as I can though.)

ON TO ANOTHER!
*flies off fabulously with glitter into the sunset*

And....scene.

~Magpie

I Dyed Some Stuff!

So. These past couple of weeks have been interesting. I've dyed clothes for the first time (I learned that if you want to dye a pink thing purple, you have to use blue dye. Not a violet. The blue plays off of the pink better and actually gives you the purple you want.) I learned how to iron on interfacing (first time using an iron and I made it out alive, with no burns or damage to anything! Woo!) And I also got the white face makeup for the Joker face (I may or may not have been really super excited about it.) 

I've also discovered that dying clothing is a lot of fun. Because first you get to mix the dyebath around, and then dump it into the water. And it looks like you're opening a portal to dyetopia or some sinister, otherworldly planet of menacing dye or something. 

See? It goes from interesting purple splotch to BOOM. PURPLE DEATH HOLE OF SCARY DARKNESS in about two seconds flat.

And my favorite part is when you actually get to put the item of clothing IN the scary murkiness, stir it around like you're making some potionthing, and then have it magically come out a different color.

I feel like I may have enjoyed this process a little more than necessary. But at least it was entertaining. And now I'm two steps closer to finishing the whole outfit and wearing it around everywhere I go. (haha...whaaaat?)

I was going to show you what the vest looks like too and everything. But this is literally the fifth time I've typed out this whole post because somehow it keeps deleting everything I just wrote. So I'll talk about it some other time.

Sorry this is so brief! You'll get full looks at the completed top and makeup next post. I promise. For now, have some unicorns and cupcakes. *hands you an explosion of magical items* Don't leave me. 

~Magpie
*three weeks till Joker*

Joker Wig = CONQUERED

None of you know what true boredom feels like until you have to wake up every morning and spend most of your day working on a wig. I'm not even joking. It's the most maddening thing. To sit there and color strand after strand of plastic just to get the look you're wanting. And it's not even a GOOD look I'm going for. All I was trying to do was make Joker hair. That seemed like it would be the least challenging thing to do.  

I was SO. WRONG.

I spent four days on this thing. FOUR. DAYS. And now I have to blog about it and tell you all the interesting details. Except I'm using "interesting" sarcastically. So you can figure that one out. (Spoiler Alert: I secretly meant "boring")

But seriously. As not fun as the process was. It was actually really neat to see it all come together in the end. But that's probably the most exciting thing that happened. Finishing it.

So somehow I magically turned this:

Into this:

From florescent green nightmare to dirty haired villainous clown.
And somewhere in between I managed to accumulate a pile of death.

It's only called the pile of death because if you happen to get of these microscopic needley things on your favorite yoga pants, you're gonna have a bad time. i.e. It's going to poke your legs and make it feel all scratchy and you'll probably want to punch someone in the face.  

Cutting it wasn't the hard part. I'm no hairstylist. Which was perfect in this scenario because I didn't want a good cut anyways.  It was making it less "Hey, I'll make you go blind if you look at me in direct daylight." green that took forever.

What I literally had to do was take little itty bitty chunks of hair and color it with black and darker green Sharpies. I actually got this idea from a clown mask I found at a Halloween store that had little tufts of dirty green hair. Which just turned out to be bright green and black strands of hair mixed together. And for whatever reason, they didn't already have a wig that color. (What's the dealio, Halloween store? Just cuz I hated you as a child doesn't mean you have to be a jerk to me.)

Just enough where it would make it look dirty. Not streaky. (I'd like to take a moment and thank Netflix and New Girl for getting me through each day without going crazy. Seriously. Thanks. {and yes I linked Netflix because you should go watch New Girl})

Little miss Joker-face thing is going safely in my closet where I won't wake up and see her and end up peeing my pants or something. Because somewhere along the line I thought it would be a really good idea to give her a little makeover. And then I realized what a horrifying mistake I've made. 

I blame the marker fumes. Which, I should mention, smelled so rancid that I think I may possibly be hallucinating and I haven't actually finished the wig and just posted the same picture of it seven times.

Trippy stuff.

Well now that that's all done (as far as I'm aware) I have to go deal with rancid fabric dye fumes as I dye my jacket and soon-to-be vest. Who knows? Maybe by the end of this whole process I'll have breathed in enough chemicals that I'll actually become some psychopath villain! #MethodActing

~Magpie
*five weeks till Joker*

Just The Introduction

Okay. Well. . . I guess I have a blog now. Aaaand. . . I feel a little bit awkward. Kind of like someone just dropped me off in the middle of Chicago, in nothing but my underwear, and is expecting me to be fine with it and just bust out a guitar and start singing or something. And I don't think you guys realize how accurately I just described my feelings. Cuz. . . it was pretty spot on.

Anyways. I DO feel really out of my comfort zone with this. So bear with me. And here's to hoping I don't totally embarrass myself over the internet! Woo!

So. What I'm planning on doing with this nifty little blogthing (and yes. Blogthing is supposed to be one word) is to talk about this really big project I'm working on and have been obsessing over for quite a while now.

Prepare yourself.

Because I'm about to conquer. . .

THE JOKER.

         *cue dramatic music*

Alright. Now that I've gotten the initial awkwardness out of the way, it's time to get serious(ish).

Now, I'm preeeeeeetty sure you all know who the Joker is. But if words like Batman, Gotham City, or Heath Ledger still don't ring a bell, it's okay. I'm not mad at you. But we can't be friends and you're not allowed to talk to me. (Just kidding. I'll still love you.)

But since my favorite holiday of all time is coming up (Hint: it rhymes with Halloween and is the one time of year you get to dress up like a dork with no judgement and eat free Reese's from strangers.) I've decided to work on a reallysupercool costume this year. Reallysupercool being Mr. Joker of course. Except I'm going to turn Mr. Joker into Ms. Joker.

SHA-BAM.

A picture of a picture I drew of the costume I'm hoping to create.

So, due to lack of seamstress skills, I'm not making everything from scratch. (Side note: are you allowed to say "from scratch" if you're not talking about cooking?) I'm going to modify some pieces instead.

This is a shirt I picked up from Goodwill. I was trying to match the one Heath Ledger wore in Batman The Dark Knight as close as possible. And also make it a little more feminine. After all, this is Joker reincarnated as a female. 

I decided not to do anything with the shirt because it's pretty perfect the way it is. Plus, it was around $5. Hefty price, I know. I didn't want to ruin something I splurged on. <*sarcasm induced statements*

This groovy little shirt is actually going to become the green vest. Hopefully. I've got some dye and a mother who knows how to make these kinds of things. So I'm pretty sure I'm all set and ready. Fingers crossed!

All I really have to do to the jacket is dye it purple and jam a yellow flower in the pocket. And then wear it and rock everybody's socks off. Maybe even their shoes. I dunno. Depends on how I'm feeling.

I think these may possibly be my favorite thing I got. They're just REALLY cool looking. Thinking about putting buttons along the sides. Hmm. . . 

Here's my whole happy little collection so far! I plan on maybe getting some dress pants and turning them into bubble shorts. Like in the picture I drew. Oh. And that  florescent green monstrosity in the corner? That's my wig. I'm hoping some chopping and coloring will make it less wiggy and horrendous and just make it horrendous and Joker-esque.

Actually, if you want to see how the wig turns out you can check back next week! I'll be writing about my epic battle with unnaturally vibrant, plastic, scalp eater. And I can only hope I'll be successful. Blahhhhhh.

(P.S. Thanks for reading my awkward intro! Means lot to me.)

~Magpie

*six weeks till Joker*