Monday, September 30, 2013


None of you know what true boredom feels like until you have to wake up every morning and spend most of your day working on a wig. I'm not even joking. It's the most maddening thing. To sit there and color strand after strand of plastic just to get the look you're wanting. And it's not even a GOOD look I'm going for. All I was trying to do was make Joker hair. That seemed like it would be the least challenging thing to do.  

I was SO. WRONG.

I spent four days on this thing. FOUR. DAYS. And now I have to blog about it and tell you all the interesting details. Except I'm using "interesting" sarcastically. So you can figure that one out. (Spoiler Alert: I secretly meant "boring")

But seriously. As not fun as the process was. It was actually really neat to see it all come together in the end. But that's probably the most exciting thing that happened. Finishing it.

So somehow I magically turned this:

Into this:

From florescent green nightmare to dirty haired villainous clown.
And somewhere in between I managed to accumulate a pile of death.

It's only called the pile of death because if you happen to get of these microscopic needley things on your favorite yoga pants, you're gonna have a bad time. i.e. It's going to poke your legs and make it feel all scratchy and you'll probably want to punch someone in the face.  

Cutting it wasn't the hard part. I'm no hairstylist. Which was perfect in this scenario because I didn't want a good cut anyways.  It was making it less "Hey, I'll make you go blind if you look at me in direct daylight." green that took forever.

What I literally had to do was take little itty bitty chunks of hair and color it with black and darker green Sharpies. I actually got this idea from a clown mask I found at a Halloween store that had little tufts of dirty green hair. Which just turned out to be bright green and black strands of hair mixed together. And for whatever reason, they didn't already have a wig that color. (What's the dealio, Halloween store? Just cuz I hated you as a child doesn't mean you have to be a jerk to me.)

Just enough where it would make it look dirty. Not streaky. (I'd like to take a moment and thank Netflix and New Girl for getting me through each day without going crazy. Seriously. Thanks. {and yes I linked Netflix because you should go watch New Girl})

Little miss Joker-face thing is going safely in my closet where I won't wake up and see her and end up peeing my pants or something. Because somewhere along the line I thought it would be a really good idea to give her a little makeover. And then I realized what a horrifying mistake I've made. 

I blame the marker fumes. Which, I should mention, smelled so rancid that I think I may possibly be hallucinating and I haven't actually finished the wig and just posted the same picture of it seven times.

Trippy stuff.

Well now that that's all done (as far as I'm aware) I have to go deal with rancid fabric dye fumes as I dye my jacket and soon-to-be vest. Who knows? Maybe by the end of this whole process I'll have breathed in enough chemicals that I'll actually become some psychopath villain! #MethodActing

*five weeks till Joker*

Friday, September 20, 2013

Just The Introduction

Okay. Well. . . I guess I have a blog now. Aaaand. . . I feel a little bit awkward. Kind of like someone just dropped me off in the middle of Chicago, in nothing but my underwear, and is expecting me to be fine with it and just bust out a guitar and start singing or something. And I don't think you guys realize how accurately I just described my feelings. Cuz. . . it was pretty spot on.

Anyways. I DO feel really out of my comfort zone with this. So bear with me. And here's to hoping I don't totally embarrass myself over the internet! Woo!

So. What I'm planning on doing with this nifty little blogthing (and yes. Blogthing is supposed to be one word) is to talk about this really big project I'm working on and have been obsessing over for quite a while now.

Prepare yourself.

Because I'm about to conquer. . .

         *cue dramatic music*

Alright. Now that I've gotten the initial awkwardness out of the way, it's time to get serious(ish).

Now, I'm preeeeeeetty sure you all know who the Joker is. But if words like Batman, Gotham City, or Heath Ledger still don't ring a bell, it's okay. I'm not mad at you. But we can't be friends and you're not allowed to talk to me. (Just kidding. I'll still love you.)

But since my favorite holiday of all time is coming up (Hint: it rhymes with Halloween and is the one time of year you get to dress up like a dork with no judgement and eat free Reese's from strangers.) I've decided to work on a reallysupercool costume this year. Reallysupercool being Mr. Joker of course. Except I'm going to turn Mr. Joker into Ms. Joker.

A picture of a picture I drew of the costume I'm hoping to create.

So, due to lack of seamstress skills, I'm not making everything from scratch. (Side note: are you allowed to say "from scratch" if you're not talking about cooking?) I'm going to modify some pieces instead.

This is a shirt I picked up from Goodwill. I was trying to match the one Heath Ledger wore in Batman The Dark Knight as close as possible. And also make it a little more feminine. After all, this is Joker reincarnated as a female. 
I decided not to do anything with the shirt because it's pretty perfect the way it is. Plus, it was around $5. Hefty price, I know. I didn't want to ruin something I splurged on. <*sarcasm induced statements*

This groovy little shirt is actually going to become the green vest. Hopefully. I've got some dye and a mother who knows how to make these kinds of things. So I'm pretty sure I'm all set and ready. Fingers crossed!

All I really have to do to the jacket is dye it purple and jam a yellow flower in the pocket. And then wear it and rock everybody's socks off. Maybe even their shoes. I dunno. Depends on how I'm feeling.

I think these may possibly be my favorite thing I got. They're just REALLY cool looking. Thinking about putting buttons along the sides. Hmm. . . 

Here's my whole happy little collection so far! I plan on maybe getting some dress pants and turning them into bubble shorts. Like in the picture I drew. Oh. And that  florescent green monstrosity in the corner? That's my wig. I'm hoping some chopping and coloring will make it less wiggy and horrendous and just make it horrendous and Joker-esque.

Actually, if you want to see how the wig turns out you can check back next week! I'll be writing about my epic battle with unnaturally vibrant, plastic, scalp eater. And I can only hope I'll be successful. Blahhhhhh.

(P.S. Thanks for reading my awkward intro! Means lot to me.)


*six weeks till Joker*