Monday, September 30, 2013


None of you know what true boredom feels like until you have to wake up every morning and spend most of your day working on a wig. I'm not even joking. It's the most maddening thing. To sit there and color strand after strand of plastic just to get the look you're wanting. And it's not even a GOOD look I'm going for. All I was trying to do was make Joker hair. That seemed like it would be the least challenging thing to do.  

I was SO. WRONG.

I spent four days on this thing. FOUR. DAYS. And now I have to blog about it and tell you all the interesting details. Except I'm using "interesting" sarcastically. So you can figure that one out. (Spoiler Alert: I secretly meant "boring")

But seriously. As not fun as the process was. It was actually really neat to see it all come together in the end. But that's probably the most exciting thing that happened. Finishing it.

So somehow I magically turned this:

Into this:

From florescent green nightmare to dirty haired villainous clown.
And somewhere in between I managed to accumulate a pile of death.

It's only called the pile of death because if you happen to get of these microscopic needley things on your favorite yoga pants, you're gonna have a bad time. i.e. It's going to poke your legs and make it feel all scratchy and you'll probably want to punch someone in the face.  

Cutting it wasn't the hard part. I'm no hairstylist. Which was perfect in this scenario because I didn't want a good cut anyways.  It was making it less "Hey, I'll make you go blind if you look at me in direct daylight." green that took forever.

What I literally had to do was take little itty bitty chunks of hair and color it with black and darker green Sharpies. I actually got this idea from a clown mask I found at a Halloween store that had little tufts of dirty green hair. Which just turned out to be bright green and black strands of hair mixed together. And for whatever reason, they didn't already have a wig that color. (What's the dealio, Halloween store? Just cuz I hated you as a child doesn't mean you have to be a jerk to me.)

Just enough where it would make it look dirty. Not streaky. (I'd like to take a moment and thank Netflix and New Girl for getting me through each day without going crazy. Seriously. Thanks. {and yes I linked Netflix because you should go watch New Girl})

Little miss Joker-face thing is going safely in my closet where I won't wake up and see her and end up peeing my pants or something. Because somewhere along the line I thought it would be a really good idea to give her a little makeover. And then I realized what a horrifying mistake I've made. 

I blame the marker fumes. Which, I should mention, smelled so rancid that I think I may possibly be hallucinating and I haven't actually finished the wig and just posted the same picture of it seven times.

Trippy stuff.

Well now that that's all done (as far as I'm aware) I have to go deal with rancid fabric dye fumes as I dye my jacket and soon-to-be vest. Who knows? Maybe by the end of this whole process I'll have breathed in enough chemicals that I'll actually become some psychopath villain! #MethodActing

*five weeks till Joker*

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